BLEH

Ever just want to be really good at one thing? Like the absolute best?

I don't know why, possibly the immense amount of "tired" that is overflowing my body, but right now I really want to be perfect, at something. God, why do I have that feeling right now?

Hah, this isn't one of those blogs where I know the answer, just a question.

Anyway, besides my spastic mind asking randomly obscene questions, my day was... well...

I had hardly five hours of sleep, woke up, went to church, came home, family came over for birthday lunch, feel asleep until 5:15, found out I worked at 5. Went to work, was called "sleepy boy" all night, and now I am home... wanting to be perfect.

Perhaps it isn't a feeling of so much wanting to be perfect, but so much of just wanting to dedicate myself to one thing, I think I spread myself too thin, and with that I can't really see what my full potential is in one area. Which sucks, because now I don't have a clue of what I am capable, who knows, maybe if I practiced one thing all day everyday and dropped everything else I would be perfect. But how do you do that in this world?

Oh No, I feel like I am starting to sound like my old blog. This has got to stop...

Breathe....

Sorry guys, I think I just used this blog as a little bit of a garbage can, haha hope you enjoyed it.

God bless those crazy words, and I pray that someone who reads that may get something positive from it.

Okay, here are some of my favourite parts of Psalms 16, I just read, it kind of mends my heart in a soothing way if that makes sense.

Psalms 16 ---

My choice is you God, first and only. And now I find I'm Your choice! You set me up with a house and yard. And then you made me your heir! Day and night I'll stick with God; I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go. I'm happy from the inside out, and from the outside in, I'm firmly formed. You cancelled my ticket to hell - that's not my destination! Now you've got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of you face. Ever since you took my hand, I'm on the right way.

:) Nice.

Well, can you tell I am extremely tired? Forgive me, and maybe a little prayer? Haha, funny how things work, everytime I pray to God to strengthen me and bring me closer to Him, things get a little bit more tough, interesting!

-Colton

Redeem

Hey Guys,

well, yesterday was a busy day, and all in all, I didn't get to blog and I went through withdrawals. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, either which way I am blogging this morning to make up for yesterday and I will blog again tonight.

So, today.

Let's celebrate! Okay, this may be corny, but I was reading the comments on my last blog and it hit me that we can celebrate our life everyday with the people who matter. Perhaps my birthday wasn't ideal because I didn't have the right friends around to celebrate with, or who knows the reasoning, but hey - I have God, and His presence is all I need. Right?

Anyway, today I am headed to church and then I am having a family birthday dinner here, which will be a blessing. It's a day to smile, a day to laugh and just have fun, that is why God made us, to have fun! To have the right kind of fun, the fun that doesn't hurt us in the end. So smile, laugh, eat, drink, and be merry. I'll talk to you tonight.

I am so thankful, check out what God is giving you! Seriously, look, it is so much more than you think,

Colton

17

Well, today was my birthday, and I think I will say it was a humbling one at that.

I guess that isn't bad though.

I maybe expected too much. Birthday's are such a big deal - still! I think today really shook me up when I realized the factor of me and my lack of Christian friends, and the ones I do have are awesome, but I wasn't with them. And sometimes, friends who don't understand you on that level hurt you, even when they think they are having fun with you... hmm.

I don't know how, but I think I can relate this to if you think you hear something from God, follow it, it will be better, more enjoyable, and You will get all you are longing for, plus more.

Really, think about that, when we become tuned into God, and are ready to listen, we will constantly be getting thoughts, and sometimes we think, no this is just my imagination, test it, and find out for yourself.

Like maybe, I wasn't supposed to hang out with people on my birthday because I was going to end up disappointed, or maybe I should of gone somewhere else at a different time when I felt the urge to do so. Somehow we dismiss that feeling and go the opposite way.

A good way to test it is if you are not feeling tuned into God, not feeling like you have the connection going on at the moment, and you get an idea to do something, chances are it's not the right thing to do. Know where you are standing on your level of hearing God's voice when you make these decisions.

I fear that no one will be able to decipher what I just wrote down.

Anyway, I am seventeen, and I thank God for that, the same as yesterday, but I am guessing that party I asked for ended up in heaven and not so much down here on earth, oh well - now I know to specify for next year,

Colton.

Birthday

If you know me, you know that I think birthday's are big deal, I never knew why I thought this, but I always get super pumped up about it, like incredibly pumped up. Well, my birthday is tomorrow. So, I was thinking about writing this tomorrow, but I shall write it now, after all, this is what God put on my heart TODAY, so maybe that means someone needs to read it TODAY.

So, birthday's. You were born. Big woop, you are another year older, yee-haw!

NO! Get this, you got a chance at life, you were given a life. I don't know, that baffles me in itself.

I don't know what made me think about it, or how it started, but something got me thinking, God must celebrate birthday's ever day, multiple birthday's everyday. He has a kid, that He loves with everything in Him, born each day. I was thinking about how excited I get, and I wasn't sure why, but then I was thinking about God, you know sometimes we think of God as this massive power, it dawned on me, He has feelings too, and He knows how to party, let me tell you, I've been to a couple of parties that He has hosted. So, I asked God to throw me a party. Sound like a good plan?

Then I was thinking, I think I know why I get so excited, besides the presents and the b-day wishes and what not, it means God has given me another year! I am going into my eighteenth year of life! Tomorrow, I will have lived for seventeen years, that is seventeen years that God has looked after me, that He has cried with me, that He has picked me up when all I wanted to do was lay down. Man oh man, I don't know why, but I think on my Birthday this year I am finally realizing all He has done for me! I ran so hard, and he chased so fast! O jumped off cliffs into burning poisonous lava, and he flew over and caught just before it was too late. I was talking today in first period parenting and how sometimes parents are really easy to talk to, or are bad at making rules, or are too lazy, etc. Basically we had a debate about the perfect parent. God is the ultimate parent, He is my Dad! My rescuer, my best friend, the guy who helps me out when I really need another guy to talk to, who always has the right answer!

Thanks Dad,

Come with me in this next year, and thank you so much for giving me life on March 26th, it means everything to me that I get to experience this world, Your world day after day.

-Colton

You are faithful... haha

Brain Vomit #2

OKAY! Well, I just spent the last hour, just soaking up information on God, not just on God, but on life, and everyone can relate to that! So I have thoughts come into my head, a lot of stuff that Kim Walker has taught me, and some stuff that really has penetrated the way I have been thinking, so check it out. Two thoughts for tonight.....

#1) In the pursuit of following Him, He will bring our destiny to us, we don't even have to chase it, it will just come. Fix our eyes on Him, walk towards Him, don't run away from the path He put in front of you, look ahead. Don't promote yourself, He will set up those opportunities and situations for you. He will put in you the right place at the right time, his timing is perfect. It's about trust, He will bring about the destiny he has called us too. He will open the doors and put us there. Simple.

Now... haha, I like this next one, a lot!

#2) Think about this: Worship is not music, it's not songs, those are expressions of worship, it cannot be defined to a box, it is simply our connection to Him. The song, the dance, it is all an expression of worship, but worship simply put, is the connection straight from us to God. We go through our week, we have life, we have school, we have bad days, we have good days, then we come to church and say, come on worship team, get me connected again! We can't stay in that place! Imagine what a "worship" service would be like if everyone came in already connected, because they fought all week long for this connection - because it is the most important thing in their life.. what would it be like? How much more of Gods presence could we encounter? We all have this well inside of us, its our job to keep it full, overflowing! Constantly pouring in and out! Whatever we have to do to keep it filled, thats what we have to be concentrated on. Absolutely everything in life demands us to pour out our heart and souls, so we need a constant refilling. At any moment we can stop what we are doing, and BAM worship Jesus, right then and there, because our connection is alive and connected! We don't have to stop and be like, "Hey is there anyone around who can play a song for me right now? I feel the need to worship and I need you to work something up in me." No way, I want this connection to be alive!!! I want people to have this connection, constantly! The key is having an unoffended heart! That feeling when we ask God, why did you let that happen? Why did I go through this? Day after day we deal with ugly reminders of our past, and day after day we have to remind ourselves that God had a reason for it, even if we can't see it. You know what? It is an amazing thing to come to God and say, you know what God, I don't need the answers, because more then I want the answers, I want you! Sometimes we think, why don't I feel God? Why don't I see him, what is holding me back from understand this amazing God I hear about? Maybe you've been hurt in your past and it is holding you back, and it painful, it feels like it kills to even think about what you've been through, but to press through that, and get through that pain, and say it is all of little importance compared to being with God is simply rewarding. So push through that pain and hurt, He is there, waiting with open arms, wanting a hug.

Gahhhh!! I want to spew out my thoughts more clearly, be honest, what do you think? Did that makes sense?

I love you, and I don't know... I just have a burning heart,

Colton

I love You could not be said a better way.

Hello my friend
I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Why take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the gray

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it

-Britt Nicole

Hey! So I heard this song on the radio tonight, and I don't even remember what it's called but man, the lyrics are gold! It's by Britt Nicole. So anyway, I think the praying pulled off, I did my Bio test, stopped three times to pray because I didn't have a clue, and then guessed a bunch of answers, but afterwards I checked with a couple friends, and from what I know, I think I did decent, anyway, I guess we shall find out.

So How are you?

How are you?

Just a question, and maybe I just think too much, but is it true that this question is actually difficult to answer?

How are you? Look deep, you angry, sad, overjoyed, is something deep within your soul not right?

Why live feeling less than perfect, especially when You have the chance to live with the feeling that everything is taken care of, all that you feel is peace, clarity, and love?

Peace, Clarity, and Love. What a life. I don't know what else I would need besides those three things. Man, I guess sense I have those things I am taken care of pretty well. I can smile, knowing that even when something seems "off", it really isn't. It's part of a plan that in the end is going to make me soar like an eagle with joy, laughter, and freedom.

I think, Love is a chance we should take - after all, what do you have to loose? Hurt? Shame? Sadness? Depression?I think I can handle loosing that, for good,

Colton

The flames of Love that burns in His eyes -- for You.

Do you dare? Look into the eyes of love tonight, leaving everything else behind.

Oh, Eyes that burn with the flames of love.

Eyes that burn with flames of love.

Those flames are a consuming fire. They will burn in me, come and burn me.

Oh, come and burn in me, all consuming fire.

My God is an all consuming Fire!

Haha, Fire that can't be tamed, fire that won't be put in a box, fire that won't be put out, an all consuming fire, come burn in me.

Your love is stronger, and bigger, and greater, Your love.

Oh, the flames of love that burn in his eyes... for You!

You are all I want, You are all I need, everything my heart could hope for.

God, I love you and all You do, can I have more of you?

Amazing grace how sweet the sound, oh my God You never let me down.

I have found a peace, that plows on through the storm.

I have found a joy, that jumps over sadness.

I have found a love, that lights up every room.

I have found, I found You.

I surrender, No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time. Your love makes it worth it, Your love makes it worth it all.

Okay, so I am failing hard at this homework thing, pray for me... I am serious haha.

So, lots of good news, more followers on the blog, thanks guys, hope you like it as much as I like writing it.

Just a little note, the above blurb it's a bunch of lines from some of Kim Walker's spontaneous stuff, it gets me going like nothing else. Check it out, her album is called "Here is my song."

Well then, I was just talking to a friend of mine who heard a take on the story of Abraham on the weekend, from a pastor named Mike Miller. Just when I heard a piece of the story my mind was blown.

The story of Abraham has been a cool one to me and God has been showing it to me a lot lately, but this kind of hit me in a new perspective. Abraham was told by God to take his son to the alter as a sacrifice. This was a test from God, see Abraham had been praying for kids for so long, he was 115 years old, and he finally had one son, this son meant the world to Abraham.

One day, God wanted to test Abrahams faithfulness, and He told Abraham to go to a Mountain and sacrafice his son, Issac. Abraham set out to do the job. What got me with this story is this, Abraham was 115, Issac was a young adult at this point. He would of understood what was going to happen when his father asked him to lay on the burning alter. Issac would of had to help his father tie the ropes around himself. He was willing to sacrifice himself to let his father obey God's command. Now that is faith, that is going out on a limb and saying, "God I give it all to you! I trust You!"

Of course, God sent an angel down to that very spot and said to Abraham -- "Don't lay a hand on that boy! Don't touch him! Now I know how fearlessly you fear God; you didn't hesitate to place your son, your dear son, on the altar for me." Imagine how Issace felt at this point, I imagine it consisted of a little relief.

So get this, this wasn't just a little game, God isn't cruel, it was a test, and because Abraham passed, God gave him quite the promise....

Genesis 22:15-18 --- The angel of God spoke from Heaven a second time to Abraham: "I swear—God's sure word!—because you have gone through with this, and have not refused to give me your son, your dear, dear son, I'll bless you—oh, how I'll bless you! And I'll make sure that your children flourish—like stars in the sky! like sand on the beaches! And your descendants will defeat their enemies. All nations on Earth will find themselves blessed through your descendants because you obeyed me."

I want to be like Issac, so willing to give it all up, knowing that no matter how rough it looks, I'll be fine. We should live like that daily, on the alter, when we are on the alter we can see more clearly what God wants from us, so let that be our challenge, to be our thought. Let's live like Issac, on the Alter.

I feel like I did a lousy job describing how incredible that is, anyway, seriously pray for the Bio text tomorrow and English Homework that needs to get done. Thanks! Haha. I love You guys,

Colton