Brain Vomit - Blog Style

Whewwwww... Okay readers, tonight's blog is literally just what is on my mind in typed form. Feel free to read and take what you will from my thoughts. Prepare for long winded sentences and blurbs of thought.

So, I have a vision, and that is to be in a dark room, alone with Me and God, for days, and just cry out to hear and have him talk deep into my soul.

I think the reason why that has been on my heart tonight is because I have been so tired of going to school, and being surrounded by... I don't know, evil! It seems like I am so busy in this world, but in everything I do, I don't get to be involved in my passion. I am sick of that, I am sick of going to school and not seeing a change. Is that pride?

I have a couple of questions, you know, right in the bible it says that it is hard to stay strong by yourself, and that two is better than one and three corded rope isn't easily broken. SO why has God placed me all by myself in school? I am ready to find some Christian friends in school. I'm not bitter, just curious. I mean, that shouldn't stop me... think about it this way. I am studying Acts right now, and there were only two(for the most part) disciples bringing the word of the Lord all around these cities, and I don't have a whole city, I only have a school. Hmmm.. I want to be a disciple, I want to see nations changed, and I want to speak to people, even on a small scale, just to give them that hope. I want to go form person to person, and let them in on this gift of life, just like they did in Acts.

God, please release that on me!

One thing I noticed today, is how bad I am at opening up to people about it, and seeing the opportunities that God has laid out in my daily path, even among all the things that I am involved with.

Jesus, please give me the eyes to see things the way you did.

ANother thing, I used to not be so close to God, and got committed to all these things in my world, now the passion isn't there, but I still have to commit.

God, please show me how to bring my passion I have for you into all of the things I am involved in, come with me and hold my hand in my day to day activities.

Back to the pride comment, sometimes I am scared... Scared to admit that I had a bad day because I don't want people to think I have fallen from God, and the reason for that is because I know what it's like to fall from him and I never want that to happen again, but I have to realize that even when I feel like I'm struggling it doesn't mean God isn't there. I mean, what kind of Christian would we be if we weren't tested??? And I struggle with things, and it is pride which keeps me from sharing that with other Christians, and that is a trick from Satan, because the bible says to share your sin with one another, and to forgive, and by being prideful I am not telling people my struggles, and if I did, maybe they could pray for me, or maybe it would encourage them! Another thing on the pride thing, I want so much to see progress in my school, or wherever, but I don't want that to be pride, I just mean that I want that to be confirmed with me so that I know that I am doing something right.

I think Pride is a big thing in my life, competition even to be doing well.

God, destroy that! RIGHT NOW! In your name God, free me from that, and even when I am doing well, I pray that I will never seek a crown. I pray that I won't be afraid to share my faults and struggles and what is going on in my life, because perhaps that can help someone. Lord, I pray that IT WILL help someone!

Hmm.... Pray the prayer you want over your life.

Jesus, anoint me to your will. Show me what that is, give me your eyes to see the opportunities you give me everyday at school, because that is where you put me. Release your Holy Spirit over me. Fill me with such an energy and joy and power, I pray that YOU will give ME to power to crush satan under my foot. I love you Lord. Please Jesus send Christian friends my way to help out at school, push me Lord, I pray I will never give up. I pray for progress! I desire nothing but you. The world has nothing to offer me. Oh God Your Spirit inside me holds me close, in wonderful presence I let go, I cleanse my hands, you broke my heart, I cry out for love, you set me apart. You're spirit soars me to the highest heights, from where I'll not look back Lord, I'll keep trust in you. From the land of the baron, we will cry out for rain, rain God! Fill our hearts, I'll keep trust in you! For I know, you are faithful!

Wow, revelation. Haha, a couple of days ago I sent out a challenge on this blog, maybe that is why this week has been so challenging. Doesn't mean the challenge is over, after all, what kind of Christians would we be without a challenge?

Faithful,

Colton

Bad experiences in a Wonderful Day.

What a day, yesterday's challenge was tough, but I must admit, what I faced today was also on the not so easy side. It's funny actually, last night, and all of yesterday I was prayed that when Satan attacks that I will be ready, it was like I kept feeling God tell me that I was going to be put through something soon, sure enough... today happened.

Through out the course of the day, a teacher of mine really hurt me, I realized I had multiple projects due, I had extra curricular activities(that I no longer feel passionate about) schedules colliding, and on top of it all, the ring that my parents got me for Valentines day BROKE. Haha, needless to say, I felt a little drained by the end of the day.

This evening I was ready verses about anger, because at this point, I was "frustrated", still close with God, and praying and talking to him, but "frustrated". And I think that's important to point out, some people automatically assume that if you are angry, or displaying any kind of emotion that is not abundant joy, that you have fallen away from God. That's not true, one friend came up to me today and said, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and I was taken back by the thought that, you know what, I'm not having a bad day I am having a couple bad experiences in this wonderful day that the Lord had made. Anywhoooo, back to the verses that I was reading...

James 1:19-20 ---

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

That was like a splash of righteous cold water on my fuelling, raging, angry face. Haha, praise God for moments like those. So with that verse I realized that even though I felt bitter towards certain things that happened today, I should listen to what these things are telling me, lessons from God perhaps, I should be slow to argue with God about how it would have been better if "this and that" had of happened. Also, I should not get angry about such a silly things because what kind of Glory does that bring to God?

Now, it is past midnight and I have decided that I will be staying home from first period tomorrow to work on school work, which takes care of one issue. I realize that things will get done because they need to get done, I will make it to the practices and meetings that I need to make it to, because I need to be there, one day at a time. God has changed me, and commitments I have made before the change no longer seem important to me, yet they are still commitments therefore I still have to honour them -- Show God's honour. Make sense? Anyway, that has been today, and Wonderful day, with some not so pleasant experiences.

Haha, when you think about it, it's fantastic, if Satan is trying to rain on my parade, that means that he is threatened, and that means that this army of God is advancing. That makes crack a massive smile.

P.S. - The challenge is still on, let's see if we can improve from today with the whole talking "about God in everything" thing.

On a side note, I have a scared obsession with love,

Colton

Look straight into the eyes of love and say, come burn in me.

Matthew 10:38-39 ---

"If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.

Hey Blog Readers. Last night I found myself prayed for teenagers and the youth of this generation, and I don't know why or how but somehow it became real to me the hurt that we go through as young people. What really became prominent to me was that hurt that everyone is trying to fin who they are in this world, trying to find this passion, trying to find who they are, or what they are supposed to be. In same cases teens are looking for ways to fit in, or trying to find out who to hang out with. Then I was sitting in church this morning and this verse hit me like a tsunami! If we forget about ourselves and look to God, we will find ourselves, and plus we get a massive bonus, we find God too!

Now, for Christian teenagers that is such a relief, we already understand what God is, and how incredible his love is, and, dare I say it, it may be slightly easier to follow this "rule" than a teenager who hasn't been introduced to God.

So, the question is, how do we get to those youth who really need to hear this? We must be bold. We have to pray for God to give us that wisdom and strength to go out there and capture hearts for him. I have challenge, let's make fools of ourselves this week, let's not care about our social status, and not care about what people may think or say. I'm serious, let's go out there and just throw God into all of our conversations. My challenge is, let's talk about God in every conversation we can, someway, somehow, or let's not talk at all. Haha, it sounds absurd for some of us, I know for me it will be stretch, but think about the possibilities? Let's pray before we speak, while we are speaking and after we speak that our words will no way turn people off from hearing about God, but it will plant a seed, or somehow water a seed that is already planted?

Am I going insane? Is this possible? Let's try, let me know how you make out. We need to be so full of his spirit to follow through with this, so let's seek him, let's get filled up, let's come to him so he will come to us. Let's meet him in that place, let him pour out on us. Let's give him all the praise. Let's encounter him!

Amen?

I want to take Your Word and shine it all around;

First, help me just to live it, Lord.

And when I'm doing well

Help me to never seek a crown;

For my reward is giving glory to You.

Ready for a challenge, time to get filled,

Colton

I am alive to live for you.

Holding Nothing Back

I am chosen, I am free

I am living for eternity, free now forever

You picked me up, turned me around

set my feet on solid ground, Yours now forever

And nothing's gonna' hold me back, nothing's gonna' hold me back

Nothing's gonna' hold me back.

My chains fell off, my heart was free

I'm alive to live for you

I am alive to live for you

Amazing love, how can it be,

'cause you gave everything for me, you gave everything for me, everything.

You washed my sin and shame away the slate is clean a brand new day,

-- free now forever --

now boldly I approach your throne

to claim this crown through Christ my own

yours now forever.

Nothing's gonna' hold me back, nothing's gonna' hold me back, nothing's 'gonna hold me back!

Free to live, free to give, free to be, I'm free to love you Lord.

Don't you love days like today? Seriously, I woke up this morning with God, right there, just in my heart and so comforting. It's incredible how he keeps his promises, and lately I have really been holding him to that. I keep telling him that he said when I seek his face he will anoint me, and so everyday I seek his voice, everyday I read his word, and pray, and praise him, and it works, he won't leave me alone, and I honestly could not ask for anything better. I make this commitment to seek his face everyday, and it works. Now when I feel "off" within an instant he is there to help me think it out, it's really indescribable. I urge you to do this, to go out and seek him, every single day, and hold him to his promises, because our God is faithful that He will not let us down. He will reveal to us all that we need to know.

I woke up today and just read the word, and read some more. I read acts. These disciples, were incredible men of God. They were so committed to the Lord, and did everything that He told them to do, and you know what the reward was? They brought people back from the dead! They turned men, who wanted to kill them (Saul), into fellow apostles. They filled everyone with the Holy Spirit, all I could do was laugh. It's phenomenal! Let's do this, let's be disciples. Let's keep seeking, haha that is my new favourite topic, this must be the third blog about it! Praise God.

After I read, I decided to learn how to play guitar, God put it on my heart. And so this has been my day. A day that the Lord has made, I am so glad.

Holding Nothing Back,

Colton

Praise God.

WOOOOOOO

That is all I can say, tonight I went to my youth group. I don't usually go because they are kids that I don't know really well, plus I usually work on Fridays, maybe I just made excuses and was super busy... However, tonight I went to speak to them. I shared with them my testimony, of growing with God, and encountering his love, and feeling his presence, being filled, commitment, and major lessons that I've learned. The kids seemed really into it, and I wasn't sure if it was just because I was a new kid speaking, or if it was because God was really moving in their hearts. Well I finished up my "talk" and we made a list of things to pray for, I kept feeling that God was going to use prayer in a big way tonight, so I wasn't going to stop praying until I felt a push from God. When we were done our group prayer, my mom went over and prayed for a guy who God laid on her heart, then I saw two girls and it was just set on my heart to release God's spirit over them and just encourage them to embrace it!

So I went to pray for them, and when I did, I knew that something was happening, they began crying, then a younger girl began to cry and she ran out of the room, eventually she came back in, and it was like the whole room was on their knees asking God to reveal himself to them! It was crazy, I couldn't stop praying over people, and I felt so honoured that god answered my prayer and used me like that, in such a crazy cool way. It is my passion, it is what I love, it was insane!!! Kids came up to me and asked me to pray again and again, and in the background the Jesus Culture DVDs were playing and I just felt like this is what I was called to do, THIS! God made it so clear and evident. These kids just kept soaking in more and more, and then more and more kids joined in!

And I just felt so in tune with The Holy Spirit and followed everything he told me and said everything he told me too, and went to the kids who needed that extra help, and my heart just broke for them, they were so in love, and so ready to be poured on, and just so ready to receive all of his love ands gifts, and each kid had a different story, wether it be, fear, hurt, parents, forgiveness, sin, school, friends, purity.

I feel so refreshed and so ready to continue ministering to these kids and watching them grow and continuing to beg God to use me like that again and again and again! PRAISE GOD!

I feel like I could write forever about the things he has done tonight, I pray for those few kids who felt like they weren't sure if they wanted to experience that and I pray God will water those seeds which were planted tonight. Praise GOD! I remember telling kids how this isn't just a high, we are on a high now, but we won't fall from it, we will keep going and going higher and higher, because when we seek him every day and become rooted in the word that is what happens, and kids made commitments to do that tonight, and I want to put an emphasis on that next week, and I just feel like there is so much opportunity and stuff to do, and I want to do this all the time, and it's so fantastic. AHHHHH

I don't know what else to say, but Praise God.

Worshipping, forever, on and on and on,

Colton

Let's SEEK!

What time is it?

Time to seek the Lord.

The time is now, it is our role as revivalists of this nation to seek the Lord, to be focused on that one thing, Seek the Lord, give him Everything, then we will be anointed!

It's like smoking, or any other habit, once you start everyday, everywhere, just looking for him, seeking him, searching for his beauty and love in everything, you won't be able to stop!

Do you get it? This thought has just been overwhelming me. EVERYWHERE, God is EVERYWHERE! And when we seek him with everything we have he will meet us there, and there will be an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, which will strengthen and anoint us to do his will WHEREVER we are, be at school, wherever! THANK GOD!

Maybe you guys are getting sick of me saying this but I am so craving to be leading people in Worship and to lead people in prayer and just feel so used, but I honestly believe God is forcing me to do it school Hallways before He'll put me there, and after all the reason I want that is to give Him glory. So by seeking Him, He will give me the Strength to do all I dream, even in a school, where I think it's impossible. AH!

Okay, you know what, I think I need to buckle down on these blogs and stop raging bout my desires, and what not and use this place as somewhere to discuss the Word, it is such an important part of our walk with God, and it is also another way to seek God, He tells us to "seek His face".

So let's seek!! It's a win win situation, it's like playing hide and Go Seek with a Dad who sucks at hiding! Praise God for that! He isn't hiding, all we have to do is seek, and get our reward and supplies for everything we're are craving to do.

Anyone get this? Hahaha

Laughing in Love,

Colton

Default Setting.

Sometimes we feel that we have a certain sin that will never go away, that will stick with us forever, and it seems like it has been there forever, I am here to tell you that that is a lie from Hell. You see, Satan plays this trick where He makes us think that we are stuck to something, that we are owned by something that has no purpose other than to completely deteriorate any chance we had to be close with God, but He is wrong. That is not a default setting on us, our default setting was placed by God and he did not make us addicted to one sin or another. He sets us free, who the Son sets free is free indeed, remember?

I'm not sure if my typing is doing my thoughts and revelations justice, but get this, we make a mistake, we continue making that same mistake, we feel like no matter how hard we try we will always make that mistake (examine yourself, everyone has one of these), sometimes we as humans get so discouraged by our continuous screwing up that we say, you know what, God must of made me like this, because no matter how hard I try I can't get rid of this sin. *annoying buzzer* WRONG!

I was driving home tonight and I had an incredible talk with God and although it seemed one sided I felt the Holy Spirit confirm everything that I said which is so encouraging, and I was talking about sin and addiction, and how it is annoying and why does it consume our lives and why does God put us through it? And it was like a revelation, God doesn't let us lay in sin that has no deeper purpose or meaning, or let us hurt. Jesus will not let us suffer like that if there is no reason for our pain. He loves us, and someone who loves us would never think of doing that. Make sense? SoI started declaring Freedom in peoples lives who don't understand this and are addicted to sin that has no further purpose, they just haven't gotten the chance to experience God's deliverance and freedom, and with that Satan is powerless!

On the note of addiction, if we find ourselves addicted to something that isn't good for ourselves God can heal that. Some people feel and say that they have been prayed over and have done this and done that and nothing has worked. Fact, ever think that God is using that addiction to dry you closer to him? To make you dig deeper and try harder for your relationship? To fight stronger to get to him? I don't know, but in my heart that totally makes sense, and maybe when we do this, then we will be set free. Another thing, when we go into worship and feel like we are totally consumed with our problems and sins and that hinders us from praising God do you think we should maybe try an attitude like, "Lord, I am putting my problems, addictions, sins, worries, aside for this moment, and I just want to give You all the glory, despite anything else!" ?

This is food for thought, as all my blogs are, I feel tonight that I had a great idea but failed to get it from my head to the page. Let me know readers. I declare Freedom upon your lives and blessings onto your day tomorrow.

Smile Jesus Loves You. :) Haha

Pondering of God's goodness,

Colton