AHH

Hey Folks,

Well I apologize,

I was just laying in bed, and something was not sitting right with me, then I realized I forgot to blog! I have two exams tomorrow that I have been studying for, finished two shows this weekend, and handed in two final projects, one yesterday, one today. I am a little over worked.

Needless to say, there is no silence today. I miss it. To be really honest, over the past week or two there hasn't been a whole lot of silence for myself, I would right down everything that I thought and read on the blog, but for some reason it hasn't been hitting home. A couple of nights ago I was reading past blogs and I was kind of... overjoyed... with the amount of fire that was sparking through my words. I miss that.

So, tonight, tonight I am praying for a rekindling. For all of us who feel tired and worn out to call upon our faithful Dad to hold us up in the air and to wash over us. Let's actually take the time to get close to Him. I bet He gets tired of trying to get our attention when we refuse to give it to him.

God,

I love you, a lot, and I don't know if I have told you that, genuinely, recently. I miss you, I can see how it is so obvious that I am worth nothing without you. I hate who I become, and all I see is hatred around me. Even now I have to remind myself to be patient, help me Dad. I am wiped out. I pray that when I go back upstairs I will read your word and you will really say something that I need to hear through those words. I pray for everyone who reads this blog. God, look them straight in the eyes with love. Powerful love that knocks out anything else. Honestly, right now I feel so worthless God, and I know that I'm not, I know you forgive me, and make me new everyday, I just want to do better. I want to... I don't know, get rid of this deep burden that's clinging onto my back, this thing that just keeps telling me I'm rotten. I love you God, really do, and I wish I showed it better. Help ME make the right decisions. Give me the chance.

I'm ready. Oh, and God, I would really like to do good on those exams God, please help me out.

I pray that everyone I talk to, or encounter will be blessed, will feel your love surrounding them. Make them feel comfortable and wanted. I don't know how you do it, but just do it. Haha

Well guys, I think I am ready for bed... Reading, then studying, and then bed. You know what, sometimes we think God is far away from us... The reality of that is, we screw up, not God. We are the people who wander away. In a way, I like that, because it means we are also the people who come running back once we realize where we're at.

Running back.

-Colton